Diverting you!

If you are new to this site, a new reader, or just hopelessly meandering...It. is. okay.

Just-Go to my main blog site.

I hope you will join my facebook humor page here.

Cheers.

Lisa

Prayer and Meditation with Scriptures

I have been concentrating on my other blog, and this is why posts here have been sparse.

I'm going ON TOUR!

Well, that is to say, I'm scheduling lessons for medium and small groups, to guide them in Lectio Divina, the ancient Christian spiritual Practice of Prayer and Meditation using Scriptures. It is worshipful, prayerful, and devotional.

"Lectio Divina" literally means, "Sacred reading." It's not woo woo, so don't get thrown off by the unfamiliar title. (Lectio is pronounced: LEX-ee-oh)

Just today my oh-so-glossy Lectio Divina guide came from the printer. I love that freshly printed smell.

If you have any comments, questions about me, or what I'm doing, click on my blog link, and contact me.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Lisa

Adventures in Killing (ants)

I bought this product today. It's a small bottle of clear liquid that one uses to kill ants by putting a few drops on pieces of card board around ant territories. It can take two weeks to kill off the population. Ant genocide. 

Here's the weird part- The packaging says the pesticide is good for these types of ants:

Argentine ants

Ghost ants

Cornfield ants

Pavement ants

Acrobat ants

White footed ants. 

Little black ants

Odorous house ants

Crazy ants

Big headed ants

and "other sweet eating ants"

I read read this and thought, "Um, huh?" Are these real ants? Those names sound completely made up!"

I did some research, and yes they are real, and some of the most unofficial sounding names-ever-I might say!

Comments, thoughts? What ant would you add?

How not to Accept an Award-Tips for Mariah Carey (for next time)

Some of you may have seen video Mariah Carey try to accept an actress award in Palm Springs January 6th, 2010.

If not, see it here.

If you are Mariah Carey, or you ever have to accept an award soon, follow these few tips to avoid making a goofy fool out of yourself.

1. Stop drinking excessively a few hours before receiving your award, swinging around in someone's arms, or moving too much in tight clothing. Better yet, hold off on the booze.

2. Drug use has an unpredictable effect. Your normal level of LOOPY will only be amplified, so "Just Say No."

3. Sudden clapping, especially when you aren't so sure why you are doing it, is not advisable. It screams, "space cowboy."

4. Having a nanny, or au par may be a wise choice for your evening, especially if public drunkenness has been a reoccurring issue. Yes, Lindsay Lohan, this means you, too.

5. The more you talk, the more you'll slur. It's just a simple fact.

6. If you have to admit, or want to admit, to the audience that you're trashed, your planning for your evening has gone ghastly wrong. In this case, admitting is not the first step. The first step is asking your escort to accept your award on your behalf, or turning the limo around, or going straight to the after party, where you'll likely wake up near the toilet in about 7 hours anyway.

7. Short award speeches are best. Ge grateful, be humble, and don't ramble-EVER-especially if you're smashed out of your mind.

Readers, now it's your turn:

What advice would you give?

Recycled Santa Greetings

I found this creative Christmas Greetings created from recycled materials on Rte. 61 by 

Weiner Iron & Metal Corporation 

It was a big display, so I had to get it in 3 shots

Nathan's note for Christmas Eve

Nathan won't be swayed about Santa's existence, despite our admissions, and his sister's emphatic declaration of the facts. Inspired by the letter writing of the Peanuts characters, he decided to write Santa a note to be found on Christmas Eve, next to cookies.

How to: Make your blog, book, or product a sensation on the cheap

If you have a blog, you need reader traffic, and a fan base. 

If you have a book, you need to spread the word to readers.

If you have a  product or service, you need exposure.

The following link is some of the best information out there in one compact spot, that I've ever heard; and I want to share it with you.

Self-promo guru, testing and web marketing innovator, Tim Ferriss, shares his amazing advice , in his  presentation to Le Web in Paris. He explains how your book, blogging, idea, or products can be easily marketed on the web to a global sensation-for free or cheap.

Video link: 

(Also scroll down on this page, for more articles on marketing, and other topics.)

Texting Tip: Text from email (At&T) free

It's free to text from your email software to someone's phone, (to an AT&T customer). They will be charged in accordance with their plan, but you will not be charged at all. It's handy if you're already working on the computer, and need to shoot someone a quick note. But you need to have their number memorized, or nearby! 

DIRECTIONS:

Put this in your email "To:" field to send a text message. You must put the recipient's number in place of the numbers shown below--obviously.

5706402005@txt.att.net

(This may possbily work with other mobile phone service providers. Try it, and find out. Please let me know!  For instance, would this work with a T-mobile customer? 578-478-9837@txt.tmobile.net)

BEWARE- iPhone Car Chargers Catch Fire

Our relatives, Lester and Mary in Cleveland, Ohio sent us photos of what happened to their 2007 Suburban. All they did was leave their iPhone charger / docking station plugged into their car outlet. They caught the fire in the garage before it spread to their home–even their their fire detectors did not sound.

Protect yourself! Please check your fire detectors to make sure they are in working order, and unplug phone chargers, and other devices from your car outlets when they are not in use. They get a bit hot!

5 Short-Cut Cleaning Tips for Untidy people (like me)

Yes, if you know me, the first thing you'll say is, "Ha! Lisa, you're a "person of clutter." What makes you think you have the expertise or clout to offer REAL solutions to messiness?"

Oh! But actually this makes me just the person to do it. You see, I like things clean, especially germ-free, but I'm not what you would call "meticulous." Plenty of other things get my attention before being tidy does. Finally, I look around, and I say, "Things change NOW!" I'm also trying to be more proactive, so deep cleaning happens less.

Here's some tips that help a messy person like me.

1. Maintenance. I hate to feel like I'm cleaning all the time, and maintenance is what tidy people call cleaning when it happens all the time.

I'm a bit more practical. If it makes a big difference, down the line, in time spent on housework, I try to do it. I have found some short cuts that make a huge difference, but I won't kid you, "maintenance" coming from a tidy person, just means, "I love to have continual order. My house WILL be clean and tidy. period. I call that maintenance to make it seem less neurotic." For me maintenance is a short burst of clean up to save me a load of misery later. Like I said, I'm no neat freak. Ask my husband, or any of my friends!

2. The grubby microwave: (bonus 2 tips in 1) 

a. First be proactive, even though it means a few extra seconds of delayed food gratification. Cover up heating food. It saves loads of time later. (I try not to use a plastic cover because I've heard the toxins in the plastics leech into the food, and that's not so healthy over time. Think cancer. Not so good.) I usually keep a paper plate, napkin, or paper towel handy, and that way messes are more minimal.

b. Here's the jewel of the tip! To clean your microwave, you'll hardly have any scrubbing or too much work at all if you heat up a nice wet washcloth for about 60-90 seconds. It makes the crud loosen up, and then you just wipe it off, with barely  any trouble. (Don't burn yourself on the heated wash cloth. Let it cool down for a minute or so.) If you put a tiny bit of lemon juice on it--oh boy! I'll leave it at that.

As you can tell, I don't like cleaning or scrubbing very much. I won't even go into my reluctance to dust (allergies, plus I hate it). Here are a few techniques I use for big time short cuts to get the same cleaning power!

3. I try to ALWAYS rinse out pots, pans, or other cookware, I've cooked in *right after* they've been used/cooked with. I don't like leaving it on the stove, or just popping it into the sink. If I blast the thing off with the sink hose for 15 seconds, it will literally save me 5-15 minutes of clean up later, when the stuff has caked on.

4. If I have a garbage lid that's getting funky, or a cutting board that needs a rigorous scrub down, (etc.) I don't do it. Here's my trick. I use Clorox clean up spray, put the object in the sink, spray it down, wait 3-5 minutes, and then blast it off with my sink hose, and then let it dry, or dry it myself. It's super clean, has no germs, and I didn't have to scrub AT ALL.

5. Here's how I get out of scrubbing the shower. 

I keep a spray bottle of bleach and water in the shower, and a green scouring pad. At the end of my shower, I spritz the shower curtain and walls, and wipe them off. It takes about 40 seconds, and it puts off a hefty scrubbing for years...months, I mean. No, I mean a few weeks. You get the idea.

Which ones sound good to you?

What short cuts do you have?

thanks for reading. Use some, then stop back and tell me which ones have helped you.

simple celtic knot work

From Brandi - artist at Altered Ego Studios, Sch. Hvn

Celtic knot- (symbol of The Trinity)

Mutant Milk - Cow with 5 legs

In Chernobyl a cow with five legs is fairly normal, right? It should be no surprise to see them on milk boxes. However, where I'm from, it's an odd sight. 

Got (mutant) milk?

LOL

Fun at the Hibachi Grill

We found these guys at the grill. They looked dangerous, but were actually friendly and nice.

The talented chef made a volcano from an onion. FIRE!

Great mistake!

I make tons of mistakes. I have trouble spelling, and I make plenty of typos too.

But, this sign REALLY made me laugh, because this patriotic (?) guy, was trying to prove a point that Americans should be English speakers.

5 Reasons Why Viral Marketing Works

1. It's fun. Be it just plain silly, or very clever, people want in on some fun.

2. Guilt, plain and simple. Some people don't want to participate, but they do anyway because otherwise, they'll feel bad about not participating. 

3. Viral Marketing is oh, so grassroots, and taps into people's natural desire to be interconnected. Web viral marketing offer this connection without further emotional investment, like face-to-face relationships. (yes, this is good and bad)

4. Something bigger: People enjoy being part of something bigger than themselves, or on the front end of a popular, or emerging trend. They don't want to be left behind.

5. Each person drives the trend. It's "open source," changing and evolving individually, making it vivacious, and attractive in an empowering type of way.

Thank you for reading. I hope this was helpful.

What did I leave out?

Feel free to leave your responses, comments, marketing ideas, or suggestions.

Please my other project. It's a kind of  "travelers blog," and proposes, among other things, that God cannot possibly be a angry, white, old, bearded dude in the sky. Well, that and I recently posted a hilarious photo of a man with a tramp stamp tattoo of the Golden Arches. What's not to like. Hope you can check it out.

A diner with the best pie -yum

I just had the pleasure of going to the Kumm Esse Diner at the corner of Rts 501 & 422 in Myerstown, Lebanon, County, Pa. They make all their own pies, and often used freshly picked fruit (not canned or frozen). I had some fresh strawberry and some deep dish apple, and both were superb!

I have no idea what Kumm Esse means, though it seemed vulgar to me at first. The diner is a 1950s style shinny sheet metal type, and I imagine the name is derived from the local PA German dialect, and might actually mean something nice. Maybe like, "rest for a while' or something, who knows. (If you happen to know, drop me a comment!)

The waitresses all wore colorful scrubs. I image because they may be nursing us with comfort foods. The coffee was spot-on diner coffee. Good joe, but not gourmet. Fine enough to go well with great pie. My BLT sandwich was good, but not amazing. The staff was friendly. Our waitress sat down to chat briefly with two different customers who were eating alone–probably two of her regular customers.

What diners do you like? And what kinds of pie?

Great ideas to catch Dinner Guests that snoop

I heard a story of a couple who filled their medicine cabinet with ping pong balls. They anticipated one of their dinner guest wouldn't be able to resist peeking in their bathroom medicine cabinet. When the first snooper did, the sound echoed brightly off the ceramic tile, and the balls went everywhere, exposing their faux pas. Everyone at the dinner table broke into hysterics as they were told of the prank.

Here are five other was to expose less-than-classy guests:

1. Keep an open envelope out with a bill or statement inside. On the back rub graphite from a pencil. It'll stick on their fingers.

2. If ping pong balls aren't at your disposal, try filling the bathroom cabinet with something noisy.

-Silverware

-Nuts and bolts

-A pot lid

3. Put a note in your bookcase that says a personal, "Hello, _____!" When they look over your shelves, they will see your greeting.

4. Just before they leave, tell them you love to stay up after people leave, and watch the tape that the hidden camera takes. And check out the look on their face. (Maybe tell them you're kidding, so you can keep your friends/guests.)

5. Just after they use your bathroom, tell them a crazy story about the last unfortunate soul who looked through your medicine cabinet.

If you try any of these, tell me how it turns out!

Chinese Tower Sign against Ragamuffins

Ragamuffins aren't taken kindly to at Oriental Pearl TV tower. This odd sign is awfully funny, as it must be mostly lost in translation. (I found this Peter Hill photo, and other images at the BBC.com.)

My Top Ten Blogging Tips

My Top Ten Tips for Blogging

1. Make Blogs with Lists. They're quick to digest, so people like 'em.

2. Go for quality of content more than frequency.

3. Don't be afraid to niche your articles. Random thoughts might be "you", but predictability will grow a reader base. For an example of this, don't look around here see my other blog.

4. Don't swipe. Plagiarism is wrong. (Stealing-taking what isn't yours.) It's totally brainless, and shows you're a hack. Link to the content, and give proper credit. Your reputation depends on it.

5. Spread the love. If you like something, where you live, work, or play, promote it. Take a picture. Include specific information. Give a shout out. Generosity comes back to you. You should see the free stuff I get, by doing this sort of thing! Plus, I love to spread good news!

6. Give away stuff. Authors, give away signed books; coffee companies, offer up some samples; chocolate makers, ship out some boxes. Word spreads fast! Btw, all the things I mentioned...I just LOVE, so if you happen to be anyone of these types, I WILL notice you, and deeply appreciate you. :)

7. More than 1 post a day is really not so good, unless you have good reason, or goal. Just, back away from the keys, and get another hobby.

8. Retweet. Retweet/pass along your good blog finds, and often others will do the same about the good content they find on your blog.

9. Decide how often you will post, and stick to it. If it's once per day, once per week, or whatever, be consistent. People get into habits, so it's a nuisance for them to wait around for 10 days for your new stuff every day, without getting way too sick of it. They may move on to other material, but it's quite likely they'll get out of the habit of stopping by. Not good for you. Don't teach them they can't rely on you. Give them a reason to keep you a habit.

10. Interconnect your writing updates. If you have more than one blog, or social media tool, link them up, as one, to inform the visitors, so everyone you are connected to gets a headline of your newest article when it goes up, in one swift maneuver.

What are your best tips?

Crafting Fandango-style bag Puppets

My daughter made these two interesting characters today.