Janie asked

(fictionalized)

Janie asked, "Why did he die? God could have saved my brother. . ."

"you miss him"

Janie asks, "Can you help me understand? Of all the people. . . Why does God seem to take the good ones? He had just adopted a little Chinese baby with his wife. They struggled so long to have children. He would have been the best father. . ."

"it feels like a mistake"

Janie asks, "How am I suppose to reconcile the God I know with something so reckless?"

"your heart is broken"

Janie says, "Yes. But I feel like I don't have the right to admit that, not really."

"you have to forgive"

Janie asks, "What? Forgive? Who?"

"God"

Janie asks, "No. God can't be forgiven if he doesn't do wrong. What are you saying?"

"you have to forgive God for braking your heart"

Janie asks, "It's my view of him?"

"It's an offense you perceive and you are stuck"

Janie says, "I know God is good."

"But you don't trust him with your heart, not at the moment."

Janie says, "No, he seems too wild."

"you think he's careless"

Janie says, "Yes."

"he's not."

Janie says, "He doesn't make sense, not lately."

"He doesn't make sense when we want him to, sometimes."

Janie says, "But he is good. I mean, I do know that. I just don't see it sometimes."

"but he is good"

Janie asks, "How can you know?"

"you suffer first"

Janie says, "I don't like the sound of that."

"then you see him for who he really is"

Janie asks, "Does it always have to hurt?"

"yes"

Janies aks, "Then why do it?"

"because then you will be like him"