Wednesday, April 1, 2009

YOUR Gnome– on a Travel Adventure

Important Announcement:
Into the Great Un-Gnome Enterprises is now accepting new applications for Gnome Participants. Do you believe in Gnome Liberation? We realize launching a vision to the world on April Fool's Day carries some risk. We assure you, our enterprise is no joke. You see, many gnomes long to journey beyond the forced labor of gardening, and decorative posing for the open road adventures that lie beyond the garden fence. But how can they be free? Into the Great Un-Gnome Enterprises is the answer. Free your gnome from a garden near you, or the confines of a shop, and send him on a travel adventure of a lifetime. Trevor, pictured here at the beach on his travel adventure, was redeemed from the slavery trade at Mastergardening.com

Your gnome will be featured in the next available travel adventure, along with photos and descriptions of his activities along the way. No spending money or travel costs are required, because Into the Great Un-Gnome Enterprises covers all gnome related travel and activity expenses. Facebook and blog updates will capture the adventure, and the release of your gnome, back into the wild for you and the world to see. The first five rescuers to free a gnome will receive trip souvenirs, and a personalized photo album of the trip as a keepsake to treasure forever.

Simply ship the gnome you wish to liberate to our Travel Gnome Handlers Service, c/o Ovation Enterprises, 49 S. 2nd St Cressona, PA 17292, with his name, and any vital information necessary, such as age, nationality, allergies, previous work and medical history (if known), travel experience, and tastes, etc.

What kind of an adventure can your rescued gnome expect? We prefer to keep the actual trip a surprise for each gnome, but gnomes may experience a wide variety of adventures, such as white water rafting, caber tossing, swimming with shrieking eels, mountain climbing and orienteering, beach volleyball, wilderness campouts, amusements parks, late night cheesecake outings incognito, jig festivals, and so much more. In the end, we free each gnome back into the woods, or a safe environment, to live the rest of his days in serenity–leaving the haunting memories of grueling gardening servitude far behind him.

Won’t you please make a wish come true for a gnome and free one from oppression today? We can make a difference for justice, one gnome at a time.

T-shirts to support gnome liberation are available at another gnome-friendly site.

Donations in any amount for the care of gnomes are greatly appreciated, but are not tax-deductible.

Please spread the word, and thank you for your support.