the flu and talks with God

It's amazing how the flu can cloud your head and you forget what wellness felt like once.

I thought I had run a head of the flu this year, barely escaped it, and then it caught me by the tip of my toe and felled me.

I don't suppose sleep is so sweet until that first good rest on the night we are well. I have been contemplating rest and what that means. . . in every sense. Mind... body . . .soul . . .(spirit) There is a giving up to do for it.

We forget about that. We want to demand for rest. Originally we come to the table, with two fists, in a kind of picket, with grievances. We barter. We deserve it. Then we beg. Finally we give in. Then we get it after-all.

I suppose I got sick in order to rest. I just didn't know it. I sleep and sleep. I have to. But my mind has to slow down too, and my expectations.

I think God is saying, "What are you thinking? Have you been trying to out do me?"

And I'm saying, " I guess I have..."

and he's just laughing... not in a mean way... just laughing because he knows this is my schtick. Just wave of the hand, and a chuckle that goes along with that kind of laugh, until I come to my senses. We're just walking. Just walking.

He says, "I'm in no hurry with you.'

And I'm saying... "I'm beginning to figure that out."

And He says, like he's got all day, "Okay, let's go."

So I get up, pick up my stuff to get ready, and he says,

"No, just leave that. . ."

Blessed

Blessed is the word coming out in much of my "lectio" readings. How I may be blessed, that God wants this for me, or how it tend to elude me... I am blessed. My God has made me thus. It is when I live in this and abide in this I see myself as such.

Opening up

Like petals of a flower we open to the possibilities of God changing us as we show ourselves to him, and in the same way our hearts can be open to others. This susceptibility both reveals who we really are and exposes us in our fragility. We are --Just flowers where the bees can get in, and all else. Are aren't the rocks we hope to be, strong, sure, immovable. We are after all organic. We can grow and change. WE can give ourselves over and be made new.

Meaning

All things being equal, if this is truth, then what is truth?

When values have become mutually equal you reach something. . .

Not equal value, but ironically, meaninglessness.

To find meaning it seems you need an assertion.

A truth assertion.

But of course more than that, you need the real reality.

Creator

Chaos comes out of order

Once clean dishes pile up -- dirty

Dust accumulates -- on clear counter tops

But we never find it happens the other way around.

Order does not come out of chaos. We never witness that.

Clothing does not come out folded from the tumble dryer.

We force that assumption. By forcing it, we create it.

We create it. We order it. Then chaos comes.

Short lecture worth seeing

"http://video.stumbleupon.com/?s=ithct48cqw&i=ufcchmyxqsuj9vwsemax"
Above should be a link of Randy Pausch reprising his Last Lecture. It is a short and potent lesson and legacy he leaves for his children and for the world from which he will soon leave.

Knowing

Knowing what we believe must always be preceded by asking "What is real?" If what is real is up for grabs so is everything we believe. First we have to discern how we can best know how to find out what is real. Do we do this from a movable point or a fixed point? It may workout the same way for finding a store in a multi-floor shopping plaza. Does the store exist at all? How can we know? How would we find it?

Can we know anything at all?

Yes.

Not everything, but more than we've been "de-constructing".