The view from first week

Well, Wednesday will, for the next 15 weeks, be the day I feel very bedraggled. The one - two punch of intense graduate educate and commuter driving 177.2 miles (total) on a Monday and Tuesday evening apparently hits me Wednesday a.m. officially, and by 7:15, I feel out-of-my body exhausted, crazy, grouchy, or worse. But, on the positive side, I do love what I'm learning, I have great friends and professors at school, and I think all things considered it will be a wonderful time of growth, challenge, insight, intrigue, and more.

I'll try to keep you posted on the "more" part.

School starts Monday / prayer in the foyer

I have to say I don't like to drive at night. I'm a bit scared right now.

I'd like prayer for my Monday and Tuesday night drives to night classes in school term, if you would.

It should be an exciting time of school, but I want to tell you I'm nervous about the workload and the driving. I won't get home until 11 p.m. on Monday nights, and so by Wednesdays, I could be quite worn down.

Today, it was so sweet. A friend just heard my concerned at right before I walked out the church doors to get in our vehicle, she said, "Let's just pray right now." And this was really nice. It's great to feel loved like that. And I know God likes that type of thing. People just drop their route and they put their arm around youand ask for help. I think he smiles about that.

So, in that theme. How can I pray for you?
Leave a comment here, or go to my website and email me, if you want it to be private. I will lift YOU up.

Becoming known

Wild and scratched in the underbrush

Heart racing, fur matted in blood

I wait

For you.

I see patches of you.

And what is most wounded will in time

Come out and want to be seen, at first.

Then held and learned of, slowly,

And then known and loved,

Fully.

And I may see your eyes unblinking for the first time

In clear day.


And then, when courage has filled me, I’ll ask, in some way, the same of you.

Relaxed and unguarded

What would it take to be completely unguarded with another person? Relaxed. Fists down. It's a level of intimacy that's rare to find, hard to maintain, even easy to dismiss at first, but once you land there in that soft place, all the air comes out of your lungs. (The big exhale you didn't realize you really needed, because you didn't realize just how long or strangely you've been holding your breath). The tension eases from your limbs and you feel like yourself, maybe for the first time. Or you feel like your best self.

It takes an amazing amount of trust to even image this would be a good idea, because when you deeply relax and let go, you expose yourself to being mortally wounded. Just one well placed strike will kill you, or disfigure you beyond recognition, and some of us don't look the same because of this. And of course you expose yourself to being mortally loved from this same thing, which is why if it ever happens, if the chance truly comes along -- it's worth it.

Somehow, it is.

link to the Prince

I'm very excited because one of my most beloved tales is coming to life on May 16- Prince Caspian. It is the 3rd book (or 4th depending on your series) in the Chronicles of Narnia series. These books do even get better with perspective I think. It's hard for me to read them to my daughter without tearing up as I read about Aslan. The Lion DOES get bigger as we get older.

It's regrettable the film makers didn't start filming this story right away after the Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe. (I image they had to wait for commercial success first) but the children are sort of a bit too old. They should only be a year old, and the actor playing Lucy has aged what looks like 3-4 years. Before she was the picture of innocence and as cute as a button, now she's a "tween" . . . and the actor playing Peter is mannish, but all in all I think it'll be great anyway. These characters also appear in the book The Last Battle... but (again) the film folks should have had the sense to film this story already, or they'll have to feature these "children's" children in the roles.

(hope this link I'm trying to set up works, but if not it's at disney.go.com/disneypictures/narnia/)

taking a question

answering your questions --

Marcy commented and asked, "A lot of times when I pray it feels like I'm just talking to myself not God. How can I make praying more meaningful and fulfilling?"

That is a really great comment Marcy, and a common feeling. Except for maybe in the early stages of walking with God when we are more passionate, our prayer life goes through periods of dryness and can feel lifeless, or even pointless at times. It's hard to feel God is listening especially when you have committed things to prayer and felt they have been overlooked or ignored by God.

I believe when our prayer life is seeming lifeless God is calling us into deeper intimacy with him. As Ruth Burton mentions in her book "Sacred Rhythms", it is then when God wants to spiritually "replant" us like root-bound plants. He wants to put us into larger pots so we may grow and stretch our roots into richer, deeper soil to know him better. We have the opportunity to move from just communication to richer communion with God. Don't worry, you aren't different from others on their spiritual journey. The longing in your heart is the call of the Good Shepherd. The sheep know his voice. Something inside them wants to follow that beautiful voice, even when the way seems arid sometimes. They long for the greener, lusher pastures and a walk that feels closer to the Shepherd again. You want that too, Marcy. That is very good.

There are various ways to make our prayer lives more meaningful but we don't have to go to great lengths to accomplish it, and remember, God, as always, looks at our heart. We're not jumping through hoops to get his attention. We should take a heart inventory. Is our heart cold? Is it earnestly seeking him? We don't have to come before God in prayer the same way each time, but it helps to routinely set aside time to really focus on our relationship with the One who loves us best.

Sometimes we must merely start by praying for the desire to love him more and the willingness to "be indifferent to everything else but him". Also as we enter prayer times we can start by readjusting our mindset by truly quieting ourselves first before we pray. For several minutes try to enjoy some genuine solitude. Also try at times to meditate on several scripture verses as a prelude before you enter into prayer. You may want to dwell on verses in Psalms. Maybe you can offer up several minutes of praise and worship first as you begin to reveal to God your devotion, and then move into the rest of your prayer time. For me personally, this has been a joy. I wish I wouldn't forget to this this as much as I do!

Blessings to you Marcy, and the rest of you as you desire to love God more and commune with him. Thanks  for the question. Keep them coming.

Happy New Year.

Moving the BLOG and calling it "my thoughts"

I finally transferred my electronic stuff over to this location. Now I'm hoping this format makes it a bit easier for interaction, and a bit smoother for me to keep up with updates.

My regular ethoughts by email are hard to send out as people change their emails, put on hardy spam filters, and and everything else, so this may work better.

Check back for new posts coming very soon.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you.