Monday, June 23, 2008

Etta Marie, Spiritual Consultant

"Talk me out of giving up church, Etta Maire."

"I thought you said you were 'between churches'?" Etta Marie said glancing toward Jackie. She slouched into the sofa and toyed with her half-empty stemware.

"It's more like I'm between a rock and a hard place," said Jackie. She spread a glob of brie on a piece of bread, and swooped it into her mouth with one athletic motion. "You've been there. I mean, in my situation. You'd give it up, probably, right? You would have too, hiding out down here."

"I'm between Sundays, not between churches."

"You don't go to church down here, at the beach, fibber!" said Jackie through her bread.

"Every day is church, babe," Etta Marie shot back through the echo of her glass as it tipped into her mouth. She laughed, and then slowly wiped her mouth dry on a cloth napkin. "It's not the building, Jackie. It's not the guy at the front of the stadium seating. It's not what you get out of it."

"After a while, it is."

"Well, then maybe you're being selfish."

"Etta, didn't you ever just what to be fed, and think, "What am I doing here?"

"For a while I did, once, yes, but that's what I'm saying. It's not okay. Like I told you at Gilmore House, I was thinking backwards. It's not an Etta Marie world. It's not a Jackie Mayer world," Etta folded her hands and let out air through her nose. "I -- I know that's not so nice to say it like that. I just mean, we're here to minister, not get something. Worship and serve. Love God and love others."

"You're forgetting about growth, learning, and Christian education. The church is suppose to do that. That's the job of the church, of the pastor."

"Not really."

"How can you say that?!" Jackie waved her hands.

"We can find mentors. We can read books. We can be responsible for our own growth. There are ministries and resources for that everywhere. We don't have to be spoon-fed from the pulpit. Plus, disciple-making never happens there very much. It happens life-to-life, in the real world, not at a distance with sermons.

"I don't think too many people at my church care about that, i mean being disciples. That's hard work. It just gets too tough."

"That's why you have to take someone on and disciple her--show her why it matters to grow spiritually. Show someone the reality of a living faith in your Rescuer."

"Etta, Why are you telling me all this? You've been to my church, I thought you would just say, "find a good fit." And what's going on with you? Why are you hiding out down here anyway?"

Etta Marie stood up and stretched and then yawned. The room was pink with sunset. Jackie shook her head and started collecting food wrappings and silverware from the coffee table. Etta Marie moved over to the window where the view of the surf was white and low. The soft sound was muted until she pried open the sliding door. It blotted out the noise of the ceiling fan, soft music, and the conversation still hanging in the room. She crossed her arms and turned to Jackie, as she eyed her jar of stones, resting on the kitchen island.

"The truth is, Jackie, I'm on a Sabbatical, of sorts. I need time to rest, think, learn, and pray. I need quiet too. In every way I need some quiet."

Jackie nodded."You're not going to green light my leaving."

"No." She looked at the floor. "But, you know that they need you there. You know you have to bloom where you are planted."

"Why does the right thing to do always seem like the much harder route? Shouldn't it be 50/50 for the sake of odds? Or 40/60? I'd take that."

"I know."

"I guess you do need a break. You've never given yourself time to get away for a long time." Jackie put the dirty dishes in the sink and leaned on the counter.

"I have to collect some stones too."

"Really?"

"Yep. I've never told anybody this, but every year I collect 365 small stones at the beach. It's like ritual."

"That's cool."

"Not really."

"Why not.

"Never mind."

"What?"

"One secret admission at a time, okay?"

"Um. Okay, weirdo."

"I'll tell you. I just have to work a few things out first."

"It's okay, Etta. Whenever you're ready."

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